Listen here, you flaming ball of gas in a human body:
Diets are for the laziest sort of rebels.
They're all like, "Oh, hey there! Here I go knowing that I need to make serious changes to my nutrition, but also...fuck longterm commitments. Ima do this until I'm a certain level of happy with my outcome and then WHAM, it's back to the ole soggy french fries, wasted Wednesday afternoons, and ice cream binging Netflix marathons."
So here's my beef with diets: (not that it's unique beef, by any means. The beef I hold in my heart is the same hunk of smoking hot brisket that practically everyone else in the world nibbles on behind closed doors, because nibbling away on a hunk of brisket in public means you'll almost certainly have to deal with the unwarranted opinions of diet-aholic, possibly vegan Betty's who think nibbling away on a hunk of brisket is a health hazard for a variety of erroneous reasons - unless said Betty is into Keto, in which case, you're in the clear with your hunk of brisket. Thanks, Bets!)
Diets are like athletic conditioning camps that I was obligated to attend back in high school when we were prepping for a sports season: they're meant to be short-lived, brutal, and targeted; none of which bodes well for longterm change.
And yet, diet culture is still very much the elephant in the room: we all know she's standing there farting up a brisket storm, casually staring at you with a seeming wisdom that patronizes to you that her way is, in fact, THE WAY, farts be damned.
Now see here, I know diet culture about as well as I know which sports will be featured in the upcoming olympics, in that I know the basics and when new things appear out of thin air I quickly review, judge, and either eliminate them from or incorporate them into my viewing pleasure.
I've sampled the dietary gauntlet: "I can only eat RIGHT NOW" (intermittent fasting), "Now I have an excuse to eat ALL THE CHEESE" (keto), "I can only eat that which I CANNOT PROVE HAD A SOUL" (vegan), "I can only eat THE PLANTS" (vegetarian), "I eat like THE LION KING" (carnivore), "I didn't get enough hugs as a kid and so now I TAKE IT OUT ON BREAD" (gluten-free)...
And yes, I saw results in every single one of those diets.
(Even the one about lacking hugs and dissing bread. Apologies to all the legitimately gluten-intolerant souls out there, BUT...more bread for the rest of us *villainous shrug, wink, shove*.)
But diets, in and of themselves, don't last.
And that's not the fault of "diets"!
A diet, by definition, is simply the foods you ingest on a daily basis.
You can eat only candy and call that your diet.
But because society is as self-conscious, manipulative, and controlling as it is, and because everyone has an opinion about how to live your best life (bread be damned!), the word "diet" gets associated with restriction and elimination.
And that's why I say "fuck diets".
In this region of the internet, what you'll learn from the way I shuffle about in my life is that diets aren't to be trusted. It's all about lifestyle consistency.
Thus, I don't condone "diets," I condone lifestyles.
For example: if someone were to ask me "what's your diet?" I would happily reply "I eat everything within moderation and once a month I do a three-day water fast to reset my metabolism, palette, hormones, and mindset."
Another example: if someone were to ask me "what diet do you recommend for losing weight?" I would happily reply "none, Betty. If you want to lose weight, I'd suggest you explore your lifestyle - across mind, body, soul, and cake - to see what influences are causing your weight gain and what changes you can make to recalibrate your body for natural weight management."
*Spoiler alert: it's probably somehow the cake's ($$$) fault*
If you've struggled, or are still struggling, with your weight due to any range of difficult health circumstances (i.e. hypothyroidism, menopause, depression, medication influence, etc.), then rest assured that the answer to your weight problem is STILL lifestyle.
Yes, that can sometimes include the foods you're consuming. However, I've learned through experimentation and research that more often than not weight issues do not come from one problematic source, but a wide variety.
So fuck "diets," my dude.
From this moment forth, I encourage you to take a full holistic account of your lifestyle choices to get a well-rounded grasp on what all is influencing how you feel on a daily basis.
Because here's the thing: weight is just a small portion of how your lifestyle affects your body.
Poor lifestyle choices also impact: your mood, your posture, your mental health, your ambition, your sex life, your hormones, your stress, and more.
Trust and believe, the future of the health community is going to be focused on "lifestyle" not "diet".
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