Self-love training is a lot like potty training.
Sure, you can go full Tarzan and run shit-caked through the jungles, letting your stank ass reek up a five-mile radius.
Or, orrrrrrr, you can properly learn how to clean yourself up like a grown-ass human.
The same goes for emotional regulation.
You can either swing out of control like a vine-hopping Tarzan, or you can learn how to tame your strange with some pretty simple steps for properly managing your emotional needs.
Without further ado, I give you my 6-step process for expressing emotional challenges like a heart-space, potty-trained champion!
You wouldn't expel diarrhea in public, would you? Gooping all over the place, dripping down the sidewalk, butt cheeks squeaking with every step...dear mana in heaven, please tell me you don't take your diarrhea to the streets.
As you wouldn't with diarrhea, neither should you with tough emotions. Find a safe, healthy space where you can calmly let loose your emotional expression and then do what comes naturally - let 'em ripe.
Is it even possible to contain one's diarrhea? I don't know, I've never tried. But I can tell you this much: that sounds like a horrible idea!
So it is with emotional expression. Whatever you're feeling so deeply, deserves, and rightfully should, be fully expelled. Only in its full expression can you then think clearly about, you know, what it is you *ahem* ate *read:experienced* that caused such a reaction...
(NOTE: We're still talking about emotional regulation here. Stick with me, kitten.)
Don't leave your emotions half-expressed.
You wouldn't get up and walk out halfway through a diarrhea-gasm, would you?
NO.
YOU WOULDN'T.
Neither should you leave midway through expressing your emotions. I know this seems a lot like #2, but it bears reiteration in a new way. #2 is telling you to express your feelings fully, while #3 is telling you to stay present with them in the moment.
They're not the same!
Like, ok, ok, OK. Hear me out: you've expelled what you think is all the diarrhea right? But this isn't your first diarrhea rodeo, so you know to wait it out just a few minutes. Maybe ten, maybe thirty, who knows?! This is explosive diarrhea we're talking about here.
But good thing you waited a wee bit because then, OUT OF SEEMINGLY NOWHERE...you feel more coming...up? Out? Through?!
Either way, you're glad you stuck it out to the bitter end.
The Same.
Goes With.
Those Feelings.
Of Yours.
Don't leave the scene too soon, bud. There's probably an encore, if not an after party.
So.
After you've diarrhea-ed your guts out, you wipe yourself up with love, right? There's no aggression, no hatred, no scratches of regret, no self-loathing smacks of disgust?
*Well...maybe a little self-loathing, what with all the cheese what snuck up on you and caused this mess to begin with...fucking cheese, bruv!*
No. No self-loathing. What's there to loathe? Everyone catches the diarrhea once in a while. Especially with modern-day food delivery. It can't be helped!
So instead of shaming yourself for the leak of it all, you nurture yourself, like a mama gorilla to her wee-baby diarrhea kidlet.
I want you to do the same after you've expressed all of the feelings you feel needed expressing. Do yourself a solid *pun very much intended* and give yourself some love!
You just let loose some tough emotions that you otherwise didn't wanna address. Now it's time to give yourself hugs, and tissues, and maybe some more cheese...
No one, don't NO ONE, wanna see a toilet slathered in goopy diarrhea. The same is true for emotions. Not everything you just experienced is meant for everyone else to witness.
Take stock in what's important and do away with what isn't. Your emotions don't define you, but the reflection period afterward sure can, so be sure to clear yourself of the junk that was just part of the "expression" period.
Only about 5-10% of what you just processed actually matters. Figure out what that stuff is and leave the rest in your safe space.
What do you do after going to the bathroom?
You wash your hands.
What do you do after going diarrhea in the bathroom?
You wash your hands, maybe towel off the sweat from your brow, possibly put on some fresh clothes if things got out of hand. Maybe even put on some slippers and call it a day, sign out of work early due to "illness" (never they need to know the cheese what caused it), and login to Netflix for some...personal chill?
The same goes for expelling pent-up feelings. Give yourself some right-proper hygiene by reminding yourself that you're loved, that you deserve goods things, and that fresh clothes and comfort goods are just a few feet away (hopefully).
Proper emotional regulation isn't the circus it's made out to be. The problem is that most of us weren't properly emotionally potty-trained as kids. So we diarrhea ourselves in public or worse - we hold it in until we shit-explode all over the place.
Keep it simple, kitten.
Learn proper emotional diarrhea maintenance.
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