Get that sneer off your face and hear me out for a ‘mo. A proper, healthy water fast isn’t done all willy-nilly fast and silly, and it certainly isn’t done without preparation. It takes three, well-planned phases to ensure that your water fast goes…swimmingly? I wanna say swimmingly. So sit your aggressive butt back down and let me walk you through the magic…
“Diets” Are The Wannabe’s Way Of Creating The Illusion Of Solution While Simultaneously Making All Of Their Friends Feel Like Nom-Nom Addicts Who Can’t Commit To Longterm Change…
Listen here, you flaming ball of gas in a human body: Diets are for the laziest sort of rebels. They’re all like, “Oh, hey there! Here I go knowing that I need to make serious changes to my nutrition, but also…fuck longterm commitments. Ima do this until I’m a certain level of happy with my outcome and then WHAM, it’s back to the ole soggy french fries, wasted Wednesday afternoons, and ice cream binging Netflix marathons.” So here’s my beef with diets: