Because I’m an esoteric weirdo, I’ve seen way too many synchronicities to insult destiny by writing off energetic alignments as “coincidences”. These days, I perceive universal energy to be communicating with me the way that that big a** tree in Avatar spoke with every living being on Pandora…
How I Use Tarot Reading For Self-Therapy & Creative Guidance Without Turning Into A Demon-Possessed, Fart-Sniffing Spiritual Guru
You’ve probably seen ’em before: the spiritual influencers who use tarot reading and energy work to parade about like they own the spirit realm and all its sordid residents…I ain’t about that life. I believe each of us has a spiritual guidance system and if we put in the effort to cultivate our intuition, the answers to most of our issues present themselves precisely when they’re meant to…
Ditch The Woke-ster Gurus & The 20-Something Year-Old Life Coaches. It’s Time To Awaken Your Inner Mastermind For Curing Your Mind, Body, Soul & Cake *cue visceral panic at your spiritual disco*
It’s time to free yourself from fake spiritualism that masquerades as potent alchemical sorcery (you know…the kind of stuff you can only master through enough ayahuasca trips to sedate a bull elephant and enough fart inhalation to drown a skunk).
For The Never-Ending Love of YOU (& If That Doesn’t Do It Then Certainly The Love of French Cheeses Just Might), It’s Time To Ignite Your Soulfire & Glow TF Up Already!
Fuck the free world and all its’ needs. YOU need you to shine brighter than all the parallel universe Beyonce’s combined into one mega-Yonce; more than anyone out there squawking the narrative that “the world needs you”. I can assure you, it doesn’t. The world is doing just fine without you. BUT…how you doin’? *say it in your best fuck-boy Joey voice or it doesn’t count*