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How The Mind-Gut & Mind-Body Connection Theories Revolutionized My Lifestyle & Helped Me Escape the Rat Race (Not As Fast As A Feral Cat Evading Animal Control, But Fast Enough That Feral Cats Respect My Game)

Tiffa — Sat, 22 Nov 2025 02:54:36 +0000

From the age of four, I suffered from chronic migraines.

My mom took me to all sorts of doctors who tried to figure out what was causing it, but they never found an answer.

Instead, Excedrin (enough to kill a whale) and dark brooding rooms became my "best friends".

It wasn't until I was in my 30's that I learned what chronic stress and abuse can do to a child: migraines (amongst other things). Which explained why, well into my 30's, they had never gone away.

Despite being a grown woman with absolute autonomy, my unhealed self was replicating relationship patterns I'd learned from childhood; so while the abuse and stress from my childhood dissipated, the abuse and stress of my adulthood commenced.

For as long as I could remember, my two "best friends" had always taken the back seat to my #1 "bestie," stress.

Try though I did to alleviate my stress, nothing ever worked for longer than a few days. From the age of four, I'd been battling at least 3-6 migraines per week. And when you're used to chronic pain of that caliber, it's hard to envision a life where it doesn't exist.

I exercised regularly, ate a generally healthy diet, got enough sleep, went to therapy, drank enough water, minimized or reduced toxic substance consumption like alcohol, and still...the migraines persisted.

I had all but given up hope on living migraine free. By then I'd definitely given up hope on sobriety since it did nothing to remove the migraines.

But then, by synchronistic destiny, I stumbled upon a blog post about the mind-gut connection that completely transformed my life.

I'd never known that the way we fuel our bodies directly affects our brains' ability to function, especially in relation to stress and mental health struggles.

And so my experiments began.

I moved in and out of diet strategies like Goldilocks conducting her infamous B&E, trying out the options available to me until, finally, something felt just right.

Lo and behold, my migraines began to clear...

But not permanently, no. That wouldn't come until I learned about the mind-body connection...

This is the story of how the mind-gut and mind-body connection theories revolutionized my lifestyle and helped me escape the rat race (not as fast as a feral cat evading animal control, but fast enough that feral cats respect my game).

What is the "Mind-Gut" Connection?

The mind-gut connection is a bidirectional communication system between your brain and your digestive system, known as the gut-brain axis.

This connection allows your brain and gut to influence each other through nerves, hormones, and chemicals, affecting everything from mood and stress to digestion and nutrient absorption.

The gut sends signals to the brain about hunger, fullness, and inflammation, and the gut microbiome (whether it's healthy or not) will influence mood and stress levels.

Likewise, the brain sends signals that control digestion, blood flow, and other functions - like stress, which can trigger gut symptoms like stomach pain or diarrhea.

If you've ever eaten too much and felt sleepy, or if you've ever gotten nervous and suddenly felt like you might sh*t your pants...that's the mind-gut connection in action.

RECOGNIZING MY TOXIC MIND-GUT CONNECTION

Since I was unaware of this internal connection and the greater ramifications it was having on my well-being, I wasn't paying attention to how I was fueling my body or how I was maintaining my mind, much less how the two were trying to enlighten me to my deeper issues.

The connection works both ways, and I was suffering from both sides of the bridge.

You can have a healthy diet and still suffer from chronic symptoms if you don't also have a healthy mind. The reverse is, obviously, true as well.

I went through countless diets to see what would work best for me. But when I finally found the diet that brought me the best gut-to-mind connection, I was still riddled with a mind-to-gut problem.

Cleaning up both sides of the street for my mind-gut health became my only mission for five years.

While it was wildly hopeful to learn that the fuel I gave my internal system could resolve the chemical imbalance issues plaguing my mind, I was in for a world of lifestyle upheaval when I learned just how important it would be to properly fuel my mind with more than just the right foods...

What is the "Mind-Body" Connection?

The mind-body connection is the relationship between your thoughts, emotions, and physical health, where the mind and body are interconnected and influence each other.

This bidirectional link means that mental states can cause physical reactions, such as stress leading to a tense neck, and physical states can affect your mood, such as exercise boosting contentment.

Learning about this connection clicked a puzzle piece into place for me in regards to my childhood migraines: growing up in a household of chronic stress and abuse meant that my mind was constantly sending a signal to my body that I was unsafe, because I was.

Mindfulness exercises like meditation, and even exercise itself, can help alleviate the symptoms of mind-body induced pain, but if you're living in a chronic state of stress then those habits likely won't be enough to combat it.

As I learned in my childhood, I was now learning again in adulthood: one cannot heal in the place that broke you...

RECOGNIZING MY TOXIC MIND-BODY CONNECTION

At 22 years old, in the middle of a work day, my jaw locked up so tight that I couldn't open my mouth to speak.

At 24 years old, I woke up one morning to see my hands covered in what appeared to be millions of tiny blisters.

And at 29 years old, I woke up to a neck kink that made it impossible for me to move. I was bedridden for nearly two weeks.

Each of those instances - and several more I haven't listed - were brought on by stress. Sometimes I was able to clearly identify stress as the trigger. But, more often than not, I was entirely unaware that chronic stress was causing my mind to trigger my body into nightmarish outcomes.

All I'd ever known was stress.

Stress in work, stress in my marriage, stress in my relationships in general, stress, stress, stress.

As my parents used to say, "stress is a part of life."

What I hadn't figured out was how not to make it my entire life.

My mind has always been very good at telling my body I'm stressed, and my body has always been very good at letting me know that my mind thinks I'm stressed.

The only problem was that I hadn't been conscientiously paying attention to the signs: I wasn't picking up on what my mind-body connection was putting down...

How Mind-Gut & Mind-Body Connection Awareness Changed My Life

STEP 1:
Avoid reality at all costs. Blame it all on the foods.

My first step to healing was learning about the mind-gut connection for two reasons: 1) I had high hopes that if I ate the right things I could heal my migraines without changing anything else about my life, and 2) I wasn't ready to admit that so many structural relationships in my life needed to burn...

Several dietary experiments later, I found out that a keto-style diet works best for my system. It didn't fully save my from the wrath of migraines, but it made a significant impact.

I noticed how energized, refreshed, and clear-minded I felt on a daily basis, almost immediately after starting the keto diet.

Before discovering it, I had no idea that the body could be primarily fueled by either one of two sources: carbohydrates or fats. I was raised to believe that high fat diets were the devil and that carbohydrates were a staple to any healthy nutritional pyramid.

What I learned through experimentation and countless hours of research, is that not every body works best on a high-carb diet. Just like not every body is great with lactose, gluten, or sugar (all high in carbs, by the way *wink, wink*).

I won't get into the specifics in this post, but there's a lot of research to suggest that a high-fat, high-protein, low-carb diet results in higher brain functionality and an ability to better manage stress.

But while a low-carb diet did wonders for my overall health and physical well-being, I was still experiencing chronic migraines.

That moment at 29 years old when I woke up with a mysterious, debilitating kink in my neck was the moment I decided to take the mind-body connection more seriously...

STEP 2:
Face the music - your reality sucks, doesn't it?

I couldn't escape it anymore.

So many areas of my life were dysfunctional.

My relationship with both of my parents was non-existent; I'd been estranged for the better part of 10 years.

My relationship with my husband had been toxic from the first week of our relationship; we were now 9 years in, recently married, and already teetering on divorce.

My relationships with my friends was distant; I'd been so damage from my own experiences, and then so isolated by my partner, that I'm surprised a single friendship withstood the test of time.

I lay in my bed for two weeks reading anything I could find online about the mind-body connection. In doing so, I finally accepted the trigger that instigated my neck pain: my marriage.

I'd hit my breaking point several times over by now, but I'd always been willing to offer grace and seek understanding. I had convinced myself that he was my person, that we could make it work, that every marriage struggles, yaddi-yadda.

The truth was, I was an emotionally unhealed person who had become a desperate co-dependent romantic, playing out a childhood pattern of not being good enough for either parent and therefore willing to resolve any issue with my husband - no matter how abusive he was to me - in order to prove my worth.

The night before my neck kinked up, we had gone to bed after a nasty fight. It didn't matter what the argument was about, what mattered was that I was in a relationship where I didn't feel safe, seen, heard, or respected. The problem wasn't the argument, it wasn't even the relationship.

Ultimately, it was me. I was the problem. Because when we know we shouldn't be doing something and we do it anyway, we have no one to blame for the outcome but ourselves.

I knew him and I weren't right for each other one week into dating, but here I was: 9 years later, now married to the guy, and kinked up in bed like a busted action figure.

My mind was giving my body a signal I could no longer avoid.

And as soon as I took that signal seriously, everything began to shift...

STEP 3:
We cannot heal in the space that broke us...

I didn't leave the next morning, or even the next year.

In fact, it took me another four years to finally commit to ending my marriage.

I wish I could say it was because I had hope for us in the end, but really it was because I was terrified of being everything negative my parents had ever said about me.

I had lost myself in that relationship and I was very unsure of who I was outside of it. I had dedicated 11 years to that relationship, to that man. I had lost friendships, family members, businesses, and pieces of myself to that man. And the idea of walking away felt like the biggest failure I'd ever had to face.

But in the end, I did walk away. And that first night in my new apartment - to this day - was the best night's sleep I've ever had.

We cannot heal in the place that broke us. Our mind won't allow for it. It'll always be on guard, it'll always be waiting in suspense for another attack. In order to heal, we've got to leave the space that caused the trauma and find peace elsewhere.

I wasn't ready for that journey when I first realized I needed to take it. I was still clinging to hope for a future that I'm now so grateful never transpired. As years slipped by, my body continued to give me signals that my mind didn't feel safe. I continued to suffer in the life I'd built on a faulty foundation.

I know now to pay attention to the signals my body gives me because they're signals sent directly from my brain. They aren't random, they aren't coincidental, they're warnings. And if I had listened to them sooner, I may have been able to avoid years of abuse and trauma from my ex-husband.

That said, I also don't live with regrets.

My relationship with him was a safe enough space where I could explore my interests, create a lifestyle and career that promoted my mental health journey, and ultimately taught me so much about communication, boundaries, respect, and love.

God doesn't give us more than we can handle.

How The Rat Race Contributed to My Toxic Mind-Gut & Mind-Body Connections

1: HUSTLE CULTURE

For as long as I can remember, my mom has been a corporate robot. I don't know how she does it. I spent my childhood watching her go to and from work, no matter the distance, religiously, every weekday. I watched her work on weekends. I went to "bring your kid to work" days and watched her sit at a cubicle for eight hours, no complaints.

I remember watching the movie "Office Space" for the first time and thinking, "that cannot be my future." And I remember wondering if my mom ever thought like those men talked...did she hate her work? If so, she never mentioned it.

Hustle culture gave me anxiety attacks, an issue that plagued me throughout my 20's as I replicated that cultural style within my own freelancing and passionpreneurial career. The need to succeed, the need to generate profit, the need to prove oneself on the battlefield of business is something I've never understood but have always felt breathing down my neck.

Eventually, I learned to work smarter, not harder, and now the only time you'll catch me hustling is if I'm working on a project that lights up my soul - because then it isn't a hustle; it's a purpose, it's a passion, it's a love.

The rat race taught me that I should hustle, no matter the cost to my health and well-being...

2: DIET & NUTRITION NARRATIVES

From commercials on tv to products in the checkout line, our society's food culture is built off of quick fixes, fast nutrition, and empty calories.

I was raised on hot pockets and Sobe. I didn't think about the deeper nutritional value of my food until I was well into my late 20's. Fortunately for me, by then I was living in Mexico. I moved to Mexico at 24 years old and my diet significantly changed because of it.

It was that move, in fact, that made it clear to me that the American diet is extremely toxic. I went from living with processed breads, meats, and dairies, to living with corn flour tortillas (very little wheat-flour bread, if ever), fresh cut meats from a nearby farm, fresh fruits, veggies, and dairies.

Sure, I occasionally missed my creature comforts, and over time I did go back to eating Cheetos and chocolate bars when the mood struck. But for the most part I was content to eat clean because it was so much easier to do so.

By choosing to live abroad, I learned real fast how American diet and nutrition culture has a very low nutritional value and a very high advertising value.

The rat race taught me that my nutrition should be entrusted to corporations (that surely have done their research on what is, and is not, good for my mind and body), not that I should investigate it myself...

3: RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

I grew up watching the adult relationships around me ignore necessary conversations, romantic interactions, healthy connections to other friends and family, etc.

In a nutshell: I grew up learning how not to love.

But it wasn't until I was facing my own marital issues that I realized how hard it can be to leave when society has done such a good job making people feel like failures if they can't make their marriage work.

I don't recall hearing anyone - or watching anything in particular - talk about how failed marriages made one or both people failures. But somehow that message came through suffocatingly thick.

As a young girl, I never wanted a failed marriage. And maybe that's how the narrative began: a little girl reading and watching narratives about love, picturing her future and recognizing that healthy displays of loss and rebirth were never seen or heard of...

The rat race taught me that any failed relationship was a reflection of me as a failure, not of me as a survivor...

4: AGEIST EXPECTATIONS

I didn't grow up witnessing the journey of young adults. I grew up experiencing the lives of the adults around me, and I learned really fast that an adult without the means to buy a house, buy a car, take a vacation, remodel their home, or otherwise live the "American Dream" was an adult who took a wrong turn in the Game of Life.

As such, I sit here - as a woman in her late 30's who has never owned a home - and often find myself feeling like I've taken one too many wrong turns.

The rat race taught me that lack of material success in my older years is indicative of my failures as an adult, not the failures of an economy culture that's gotten out of hand...

5: EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION

What I lack in home owner success, I make up for in aces with emotional awareness, regulation, and expression.

That said, society hasn't really held much of an interest in emotional maturity for quite some time. It's only in the last five years I've seen much of a shift in the discussion of emotional regulation, and even then...it's slow moving.

The rat race taught me that emotional vulnerability and regulation is a weakness and a burden, not that it's a skill and a strength...

6: MENTAL HEALTH EXPECTATIONS

Mental health struggles have been an interesting journey "to share, or not to share".

I've learned that while most people are able to sympathize and provide grace in an initial moment of me providing clarity on my mental health, those same people often don't have an ability for sustained understanding.

People don't care what you're going through when it comes down to their bottom line, and that bottom line doesn't have to be financial. Sometimes it's a friend who's exhausted from hearing that your life isn't getting any better; sometimes it's a stranger who asked how you're doing, got an honest answer, and now feels irritated by your "oversharing".

The rat race taught me that my mental health isn't as important as my ability to function at the level of other peoples' expectations, not that I should cherish and protect it...

How Attuned Are You to Your Mind-Gut & Mind-Body Connections?

And how are you doing out in the rat race?

I hope it's been everything it's been made out to be, I hope that you're succeeding and thriving and happy as all get-out.

But if you're not (if you're struggling across mind, body, soul, and/or cake), know that you aren't alone and I'm always here to rant about it.

We all deserve a life of peace and ease.

Chaos and stress can f*ck all the way off.

So too can the gatdamned rat race.

The post How The Mind-Gut & Mind-Body Connection Theories Revolutionized My Lifestyle & Helped Me Escape the Rat Race (Not As Fast As A Feral Cat Evading Animal Control, But Fast Enough That Feral Cats Respect My Game) appeared first on https://stardustrevolution.com.

My definition of “love” has irrevocably transformed my relationship & boundaries with myself & with anyone who comes in & out of my life…

Tiffa — Wed, 01 Nov 2023 14:47:07 +0000

In the last 15+ years I've maintained a lifestyle where I've had more free time than the average adult. And in that free time, I've been able to explore all sorts of hobbies, one of which is communication.

Blessings be to 20-something year old me who decided to flip off the free world and pursue a life less traveled.

But I digress...

In that free time, I chose to work on my mental health, explore the world around me, and study ideas like what we mean when we say, "I love you."

The question of what the word "love" meant was a deep confusion for me since several, very important, relationships in my life that involved love often showed very little of it.

How could people like my parents - whom I hadn't spoken to in over a decade, who had damaged me in ways that at times felt too heavy to carry, who hadn't taken steps to mend our shattered relationships - possibly mean it when they said they loved me?

How could my ex-husband have meant it when he'd spent 11 years abusing me?

If they had or hadn't meant it, how was I supposed to know the difference? How was I supposed to trust anyone in the future who told it to me, much less myself when I told it to someone else?

And so I dove deep.

I spent quite a few years contemplating what it means to "love" and asking people around me what they thought it meant.

What I realized is that most people have a very limited sense of what it means to "love". In fact, I'd argue that they'd agree with the primary dictionary definition, which I'll share in this post.

But for me, love is a profound emotional depth that, when I feel it, carries more integrity, consistency, and stability than the definitions I found.

I realized that my conflict with the people who'd come in and out of my life offering professions of love is that their love was always transactional, often being revoked during times of emotional stress.

Were we operating from different spaces of what "love" means or did I not understand the concept from the jump?

Defining Love...

Someone once told me that I didn't know what love is.

When anyone tells me something about myself, especially something I don't see about my character or behaviors, I take it seriously.

Sometimes they're right and I learn more about myself, which is always a positive thing. Sometimes they're wrong and I learn more about how humans project their own flaws and blame others when they don't know what else to do, which is also a positive thing to know.

Because of what that person said to me, I spent the next few years researching, writing, and pondering the current definition of love, what other people think love is, and - more importantly - what I perceived love to be.

I did all of this in the hopes that maybe if I could understand what "true love" is, then I could not only start offering it to the people I love most, but I could also recognize when someone loves me in return...or doesn't.

And so, my first step was to dive nose-deep in dictionary definitions of "love":

DEFINITION 1) Love /lʌv/ noun: an intense feeling of deep affection.

DEFINITION 2) Love /lʌv/ noun: a great interest and pleasure in something.

DEFINITION 3) Love /lʌv/ verb: like or enjoy very much.

DEFINITION 4) Love /lʌv/ noun: a feeling of deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone.

DEFINITION 5) Love /lʌv/ noun: (in tennis, squash, and some other sports) a score of zero.

Definition #5 is a gatdamned sports reference, so I shoved that aside.

Definition #4 labels "love" as being romantic or sexual, which doesn't apply to the love a parent would have for a child, so that too I shoved aside.

NOTE: I wanted my definition to be something that would apply universally to every loving relationship in my life, not just familial, friendly, or romantic.

Definition #3 is how I feel about cheesecake. Not good enough for human love, me thinks.

And definition #2 is how I feel about psychedelics...also not good enough for human love.

Which left me with definition #1, the only definition on this list that came even remotely close to defining "love" in the relationships for which I'd said it and meant it, but still...I'd experienced so many moments when emotional upheaval suddenly threw even that concept of love out the window.

I'm sure my parents feel deep affection for me, but I'm also sure they've each claimed me "dead to them". How could that be love?

I'm a communicator by nature.

I highly value the fact that humans can create a word to perfectly summarize an intention, feeling, situation, etc.

To me, definitions should help us better understand the words that we use for one one another.

If my outlook on love was governed by definition #1, "an intense feeling of deep affection," then all sorts of negative behavior could be allowed while still claiming you love someone. I've been told it's true that you can love someone and also mistreat them, but isn't it more likely that humans aren't honest about their emotions?

Isn't it more likely that we're bad at loving one another so we justify our misdeeds and then continue to call it love? Isn't it also more likely that definition #1 is ill-defined, and was likely written by someone who had a shallow understanding of love?

I thought back to the person who told me that I didn't know what love is...did they demonstrate what love is?

I do believe you can have an intense feeling of deep affection for someone, but how does that show up in moments of negativity, moments of stress, moments of deep pain? What is love if it disappears when we need it most, when it matters most? And was the definition I sought something different than that person who called me out was able to associate with?

An intense feeling of deep affection doesn't mean you'll treat someone with respect, or dignity, or understanding, especially in difficult moments. If anything, that definition is describing a moment, not a feeling that holds longevity.

And so I rejected the notion that "love" is merely an intense feeling of deep affection. When I say I love someone, I mean that I care about them profoundly - even in moments of hardship. It means that I want the best for them, that I treat them with respect and care, no matter what we're going through.

But when I say I love an object or an idea, say, a sunset, or a warm hug, THAT'S when I feel deep affection in the way that definition #1 details.

So many people claim to "love" someone and then treat that person with the same fleeting regard they might treat a sunset or a hug. They enjoy it while it's there, while it's happening, but if that sunset isn't good enough, or the hug not warm enough, suddenly the emotion flips to disdain or disregard.

Humans are not to be disregarded. Not those whom we love, anyway.

I knew that if I was going to continue this quest it would have to be on the grounds of figuring out what "love" actually means to me, because clearly I must have a different definition than the dictionary, or even most people I meet.

The person who claimed I didn't know what love is wasn't accurate, but they were valid on the grounds that, perhaps, we had different definitions of what love actually is...

Seek & Ye Shall Find:
MY DEFINITION OF LOVE

Love /lʌv/ noun : a commitment to one's own (or another persons) health, happiness, and good fortune.

It may not sound romantic. It surely doesn't feature any trigger words of sentimentality, adoration, sex, or appeal.

But it encompasses everything I believe we mean when we say we love someone, and here's why...

To care about all three of those specific words in regard to you or someone else, means that you want the BEST for you and/or them. Hardship doesn't make those feelings go away. Challenge, argumentation, conflict, doesn't mean you suddenly revoke your interest in that persons well-being.

It means, when reasonable to do so, you're willing to make sacrifices, have difficult conversations, and show up in ways that truly matter - be it for you, or for them.

In the past, I've been a simple, gullible creature. And because of that, I've been burned a lot in relationships. By family, friends, one ex-husband, several cats who've chosen the lap of another over my own, a few roommates who still owe me money, one too many Netflix shows that had lackluster endings, one situationship that I thought was going somewhere, and a handful of passionpreneur projects that ended up being flops.

What I've learned from all of that heartbreak and grief is that the people - and cats - who caused me the most pain, didn't actually love me in the way I qualify "love" because they couldn't - they didn't have the same expectation for what love is as I do.

And I'd bet money on it that the deeper reason for why they were so willing to cause so much pain in someone they claimed to "love," was due in large part to the lack of love they felt for themselves.

By my definition of "love": if you don't care about your own health, how are you going to be able to show up for someone else's health when they need advice or support? The same could be said for happiness and fortune. If you aren't practicing disciplined love for you, then how can you give it to another?

You may aspire to love someone, you may even think that you do.

But as far as I'm concerned, deep affection does not mean that you love me. It means that you've felt a feeling in a moment. It's not longterm and it doesn't often withstand hardship.

The standards we hold for ourselves are often the ones we show to others. Even if you speak better to your friends than you speak to yourself (a common trait amongst those with mental health struggles), you'll still provide a layer of enabling comfort that someone who truly loves themselves - by my definition - wouldn't provide.

Now apply this definition to wealth and happiness.

If you only know a 9-to-5 grind because that's the kind of "love" you think is good for you, then how are you going to provide proper attention to someone like me who's seeking more?!

You may feign support and "love," but when it comes down to it, your advice will inevitably be smothered in "work harder, do more, show up every morning and attack your work like a gatdamned lioness".

All of which to me sound toxic AF.

My definition was born from the estrangement I endured with both of my parents, and the devastating way my 11-year long relationship/marriage ended.

Did those individuals care for my health, happiness, and good fortune?

If so, then why did they choose to keep digging in their heels on negative behaviors that only contributed to my mental health downfall? You can be upset with someone, disagree with someone, even want to end a relationship with someone, while still loving them and showing them care for their health, happiness, and good fortune.

I believe that they all think they loved me, but I also believe that they had (and some of them still do have) a warped perspective of what love actually is.

What it means to
BE & LIVE in Love

Today, I live with a renewed sense of awareness on what love means to me. I can clearly see when someone does or does not love themself, and I can clearly state what I expect in relationships with people who claim to want love with me.

I'm very aware of when I am and am not loving myself, and because that's what I want from the relationships I cultivate, I pay attention to how I'm honoring my own health, happiness, and good fortune (all three of those terms - health, happiness, and good fortune - are blanket statements that incorporate everything from sex, physical wellbeing, purpose, vitality, joy, success, gratitude, and everything in between).

This definition changed my life.

Nowadays, I tend to myself first in order to cultivate as much health, happiness, and good fortune as possible from my day-to-day activities and behaviors.

I do my best not to thrash my vessel, sacrifice my own happiness, or ignore my opportunities for positive growth.

In putting this definition into practice, I went from offering enabler-style toxic love to myself and the people I love most, to providing healthy, stable, "true" love instead.

Sometimes, that means I lose relationships. Even ones I thought would last a lifetime.

And that's ok.

If someone is not able or willing to seek understanding, compassion, and growth with someone they claim to love, then love isn't what they're claiming to have with that person. Perhaps it's force, coercion, loyalty, or determination.

These days, I can tell when someone won't be able to love me in the way I want to experience.

It feels like a psychic awakening in that I can sense, in ways that seem subtle but are actually quite obvious, when someone isn't healthy, happy, or fortunate. Instead of enabling those tendencies like I used to, I call them out. And when that doesn't change anything, I know that sometimes "true love" requires that I take a step back.

At first I feared that I was abandoning people, but when I sat with it and aligned with my definition of love, I realized that it wasn't me doing the abandoning: it was them.

I lost a few friends in the last two years. Individuals I thought would be in my life for the long-haul. But their behavior, their issues, their lack of love for themselves, had them abusing me in the meantime. So I left.

And I struggled with leaving that first friend. I felt like I was abandoning her and our friendship. But had she any sense of what love really is, she wouldn't have been abusive. And she wouldn't have abandoned love and understanding in place of anger and destruction.

Love does not abandon. It seeks to find understanding, connection, a bridge to mend the disconnect. Even - if not especially - in dark times.

The old me would've enabled the shit out of her, turned down my own health and happiness, and remained loyal to our friendship despite all the chaos and pain I endured through it.

But I'm a new person with this knowledge under my belt. I have a clear sense of what love is and chose to care for myself (in caring for ourselves first we're able to properly care for others in return). In doing so, I can love her from afar; and I do.

I no longer enable toxicity.

I no longer fear the loss of someones half-assed, so-called, poor excuse for love.

My job is not to love everyone.

It's to love me and to let that love ripple outwards to attract those who love me back as I love them.

For the love of you, give this definition a chance to elevate your life and your relationships

Take a look at how you show up "in love" for yourself and for those around you.

I promise, it'll change how you treat yourself and everyone else in your life.

Are you in love with yourself? Do you make, or are you willing to make, sacrifices to show up for your health, happiness, and good fortune?

If so, congratulations! You're a well-rounded lover who likely provides healthy love to those around you!

But if the answer is anything close to: "ruh-roh," then don't be surprised if you start to notice how you haven't been as loving to others as you thought you were; if you start to understand why the love you've been told you have doesn't feel right; if you start to see how your lack of love for self ripples out to create a lack of love around you.

Before I sign off, I'm gonna leave you with some questions to determine whether or not you are, in fact, loving towards yourself and others.

And if you find that you're not, just remember that change is an inevitable part of life and you're oh so very capable of it.

But you can't get better if you don't know how/where/why you're failing.

1) Do you show up for your health and care about the health of those you love?

"Health" includes your physical well-being, of course, but it also includes your emotions, sex life, mental health, sense of fulfillment, etc.

How healthy are you, really? And do you care about the overall health of your loved ones? Not the enabling kind of care, but the kind that can have honest, deep, meaningful connection and support for their best interest.

2) Are you committed to pursuing your own happiness?

"Happiness" includes your emotional contentment, of course, but it also includes your sense of fulfillment, confidence, self-esteem, connection to others, etc.

Are you acknowledging when you aren't happy? Are you acknowledging what makes you happy? And are you aware of when you choose to sacrifice your happiness because of XYZ???

If you're dropping the ball on your own pursuit of happiness, how often are you dropping it for the people you claim to "love"?

3) Do you allow yourself good fortune?

"Good Fortune" includes opportunity, of course, but it also includes your right to luck, love, gratitude, and pride.

Do you let yourself take opportunities that come your way? Do you accept that good things come to those who do good unto others? Do you feel gratitude for what you DO have in your life, especially when you ultimately feel in a deficit?

If you don't have the confidence or gratitude to pursue good fortune when it comes your way, then how are you able to encourage and support those you love when good fortune comes to them?

4) Are you honestly able to acknowledge where you aren't actively "in love" with yourself?

It's ok to not be "on" all the time. My definition states: "a commitment to...", which doesn't mean it's a permanent state of being, so much as a consistent pursuit.

When you drop off from loving yourself, do you come back? Or do you lose your way for an indefinite period of time?

As much as you say you love yourself, or your friends, or your lovers, is that really the case if you haven't seen love for yourself in quite some time? Or are you all in on enabler-mode, casually allowing you and those you love to mistreat each other in misguided pursuits of affection?

True love, to me, genuinely means caring about your full, well-rounded, holistic welfare.

Not just your happiness.

Not just your health.

Not just your good fortune.

And certainly not in a way that safeguards your ego in place of confronting what needs healing so you can live a deep and loving existence.

Let the record show, that I too struggle to love myself on a daily basis.

You won't find perfection here.

Just commitment.

The post My definition of “love” has irrevocably transformed my relationship & boundaries with myself & with anyone who comes in & out of my life… appeared first on https://stardustrevolution.com.

Learn How To Master Your Emotional Expression As Well As You Manage Diarrhea (AKA, My 6-Step Plan For Managing Emotional Turmoil)

Tiffa — Wed, 01 Nov 2023 12:37:39 +0000

Self-love training is a lot like potty training.

Sure, you can go full Tarzan and run sh*t-caked through the jungles, reeking up a one-mile radius with your foul stench, orrrrr, you can learn how to practice basic hygiene.

The same can be said for emotional regulation. The only difference is that a lot of us weren't taught how to manage tumultuous feelings or situations.

Tempers rise, tears start flowing, words go flying - or don't at all - and before we know it things have been said or done that can't be unheard or unseen - whether it's too much or too sharp, poor emotional regulation skills can lead us down a downright disastrous path.

As someone who experienced a lot of emotional dysregulation in my years, I can attest that learning how and when to express myself with maturity has become a superpower.

I no longer feed into toxic relationships.

I no longer suppress, deny, or avoid accountability for my feelings.

I no longer withhold my truth for the sake of what someone else might think or feel, lash out with "brutal honesty" that was really just cruelty, or keep things to myself in an effort to show face, be brave, be strong, or not appear to have issues.

If you struggle with healthy emotional expression, this post's for you:

Recognizing Emotional Dysregulation Behaviors That Need Re-Patterning

Before diving into the process for emotional regulation, I want to discuss how to recognize when we've got emotional dysregulation behaviors and the golden rules to healthy emotional regulation that we should be honoring.

Healthy emotional regulation doesn't mean that every thought, feeling, or perception needs to be shared. On the contrary, it means recognizing when something is and is not for sharing, and how to go about sharing it in a way that is both clear and receptive to feedback.

If you struggle with expressing your feelings, you probably justify it with one, or more, of the below statements (or so many others that I'm not including):

"My feelings don't matter."

"Sharing my vulnerabilities pushes people away."

"Sharing my feelings makes me look weak."

"No one cares what I'm going through."

"Speaking up will only cause more problems."

"My truth will hurt their feelings."

The first problem with justifications like these is that they minimize your authenticity, which, in turn, keeps misaligned relationships and behaviors in your life out of your fears of abandonment or peer invalidation.

The second problem is that they assume the people in your life don't have your best interest at heart - which may be true, and leads back to the first problem whereby you should want to remove those types of people from your life since they don't truly care about you if they don't want the best for you.

Emotional regulation is hard for a lot of people because we're often taught to keep the peace at our own expense, rather than potentially rock the boat for the sake of self-expressive authenticity.

And that pattern makes it so, time and again, we shut down or ignore our intuition, engage in argumentative or reactive communication styles, and betray our spiritual guidance system with defensiveness or suppression.

The reality is that by practicing healthy emotional regulation skills we build self-trust, eliminate misaligned relationships from our path, and cultivate deeper connections with those who matter most to us.

But if you've been operating from a space of emotional dysregulation, it's hard to recognize when and how to express yourself. You might find that you live in a pattern of avoiding the reality of a situation because you just don't know how to otherwise operate authentically within it.

So before we dive into the do's and don'ts of how to emotionally express yourself once you've decided "now's the f*cking time," let's look at the 5 golden rules for what makes an emotional regulation moment healthy:

CALM & COLLECTED

Specifically in regards to expressing anger/disappointment/and other negative feelings - especially to those you care for - healthy emotional expression should be conducted in a calm and collected manner. With people you care for, there's no reason to fight. Arguments are disagreements, not fights. Fighting happens when emotional dysregulation takes over, emotions become heightened, and self-care/care for others goes out the window.

IF IT'S FOR THEM, EXPRESS IT

Not everything you think and feel needs to be shared. But if what you're feeling comes down to how someone's actions or words have an impact on you, and you cannot, and should not, adjust your life around their inconsiderations or behaviors, then expressing your feelings to that person needs to happen.

IF IT'S FOR YOU, IT'S YOUR CHOICE

If you're realizing that you have feelings about a situation, but you also realize that it's more of a you issue than a them issue (e.g. your friend isn't texting you as often as usual, but you know that's because they're busy with their new baby) then the choice to share is up to you; however, if you choose to share, you should express that feeling with the preface that it's a you issue and not a them issue. Vulnerabilities are safe to share with the people who're meant for us. They can create deeper bonds. But don't expect your issues to be solved by someone else.

IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO MANAGE PEOPLES FEELINGS

If you find yourself avoiding conversations because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings, or you don't want to hear an answer you think they'll give you, remind yourself that you aren't in charge of other people's feelings and you shouldn't go around making assumptions about their potential responses. If something matters to you, express it; and if that person can't handle it, that's for them to learn how to regulate.

SEEK UNDERSTANDING OVER SOLUTIONS

Not every expression needs to come with a solution, for you or for others. Emotional regulation is all about connecting with community, which can only happen when we seek to understand one another. There's a time and a place to communicate for the sake of expressing carnal feelings (rage, fear, sadness, grief, etc.), but more often than not, emotional regulation skills are used in moments where we're seeking common ground and understanding, not finding solutions (though sometimes that's a perk to the convo).

In summary: remain calm, recognize when an emotion is for you to work through individually or with someone else, it's not your job to manage the feelings of others, and seek understanding.

Pretty simple stuff when you lay it out.

Now let's move on to how to process difficult feelings that often lead to emotional dysregulation.

I use a simple, 6-step process for when I feel overwhelmed, upset, sad, depressed, etc., to quickly work through my feelings and guide myself back to the primary meaning of the golden rules: do I share this moment or not?

How to Process Challenging Emotions Without Spewing All Over Your Surroundings

I went through two phases of emotional dysregulation before I learned what's healthy: the first was where I didn't share anything - I got walked all over, I kept my tears to myself, I had zero boundaries, and zero interest in being vulnerable with anyone; the second phase was where I shared everything - no filter, no thought to it, just spewing what felt honest in the moment.

Both phases were wildly dysregulated. Where the first phase was built from my childhood household, the second phase was a direct reaction to that experience and me trying to seek safety through vulnerability.

The problem with the first phase was obvious: I didn't have a single relationship in my life where anyone truly knew me.

The problem with the second phase took me a little longer to realize: not everything I felt or thought was expressed in a healthy manner, or being shared in worthy relationships.

Because I was so dysregulated, I was building relationships with people who were equally dysfunctional. The outcome was sheer toxicity, with me in overreactive mode and them often feeding off of that with an empowered sense of self-expression, but with equally no sense of sensitivity or grace in delivery.

Therapy and research led me to realizing a quick and effective way for me to regulate my emotions and properly decide what and how to share without living out of reactivity.

#1) Find a private space

Tying back into the diarrhea metaphor from the title (Why this metaphor?! I don't know. But is it effective in remembering how to manage difficult emotions? You betcha!): much like you wouldn't sh*t in public, you shouldn't be sharing difficult emotions the very moment they pop up - until, of course, you feel regulated and able to do so with graceful composure.

Find a safe, private space where you can calmly let loose your emotions and then do what comes naturally - let 'em ripe. Pay attention and honor whatever comes up for you. In that way, you can get the reactive expressions off your chest without taking it out on others.

[NOTE: Once you've gotten the hang of healthy emotional expression, this part can usually be done quickly and internally, without the need for walking away to a private space. That said, sometimes you may find that privacy is exactly what you need in order to productively process what to and to not share, and what is and is not important.]

#2) Whatever you're feeling, express it fully

Is it even possible to contain one's diarrhea? I don't know, I've never tried. But I can tell you this much: it sounds like a horrible idea.

So it is with emotional expression.

Whatever you're feeling so deeply, deserves your full expression. Only after its been fully felt can you think clearly about what caused that emotional reaction from you, what you need to personally regulate versus what someone else needs to know about their own behavior, and how/if you want to go about addressing it with another person.

#3) Stay present in the moment

Don't look away from your feelings; don't shame yourself, deny any parts of them, or otherwise gaslight yourself out of experiencing the feelings in all their fullness.

Stay present with the moment.

Healthy emotional regulation is about more than just processing what and how to speak your truth; it's about honoring your entirety.

So while you're expressing yourself (while you're crying, screaming, or raging out), remain with it while you reach a place of acceptance and understanding within yourself.

Don't leave the scene too soon for the sake of speeding through it. There's probably an encore, if not an after party, of residual feelings.

[NOTE: The better you get at emotional regulation, the easier this process will be. What once may have taken you a good hour to process, could transform into a few minutes. But that comes with practice and patience as you learn a new way to allow yourself authentic expression.]

#4) Lovingly Cleanse Your Energy

So. Diarrhea metaphor, yea?

After you've poo-ed your guts out, you wipe yourself up with love, right? There's typically no aggression, no hatred, no scratches of regret, no self-loathing smacks of disgust.

Why would there be, right? What's there to loathe about a natural human experience? And cleaning yourself up afterward is a basic act of self-care.

The same could be said about human emotion.

Once you've expressed all there is to feel, it's time to clean up your energy with some loving gestures that remind you that you deserve to be cared for. Even if you choose not to share the emotion, you still deserve self-care after having experienced the full weight of it.

You just let loose some tough emotions that you otherwise didn't wanna address. Now it's time to give yourself hugs, and tissues, and maybe some cheese...

#5) Release the Bad Stuff

No one, not NO ONE, wants to see a toilet slathered in goopy diarrhea. The same is true for emotions.

Not everything you just experienced is meant for everyone else to witness.

Take stock in what's important and do away with what isn't. Your emotions don't define you, but the reflection period afterward sure can, so be sure to clear yourself of the junk that was just part of the "expression" period.

Only about 5-10% of what you just processed actually matters. Figure out what that stuff is and leave the rest in your safe space.

#6) Follow Up with Proper Emotional Hygiene

What do you do after going to the bathroom? You wash your hands.

What do you do after going to the bathroom for diarrhea?

You wash your hands, maybe wipe the sweat off your brow, get put on some fresh clothes if things got out of hand...maybe you even put on some slippers and call it a day, sign out of work early due to "illness," and login to Netflix for some chill time...

The same goes for expelling difficult feelings.

When we express easy feelings, we don't need much self-care to move on with our day. But when we process difficult feelings (feelings that might bring up past trauma, or make us bawl our eyes out, or leave us scared of an outcome we know we have to face), we need a lot more self-care than usual.

Give yourself proper emotional hygiene after dealing with the heavy stuff by reminding yourself that you're loved, that you deserve goods things, and that fresh clothes and comfort thigns are just a few feet away (hopefully).

[NOTE: When you're new to emotional regulation, it's good to have a reward system or otherwise ritualize your aftercare. Setup an at-home spa treatment, take a bubble bath, go for a hike in nature, or whatever else helps you get back to feeling safe. It's all about rewarding your brain for choosing to process something it otherwise was so used to avoiding.]

Ultimately, emotional regulation & potty training have more in common than I think any of us cared to realize...

But it's a great metaphor to have in your back pocket when you realize you're being triggered into a reactive state.

Triggers do NOT justify immature, unhealthy reactions. But they are a natural part of living with mental health struggles. For that, emotional regulation is the key that helped me understand that while I will most likely always have a PTSD symptoms in my life, what I don't have to have is poor reactions to life's chaos.

Most of us weren't properly emotionally potty-trained as kids (*hand raise of no shame*), so we leak out emotional diarrhea in all the most inappropriate moments, or worse - we hold it in until we sh*t-explode all over the place.

Keep it simple, kitten.

Learn proper emotional diarrhea maintenance.

The post Learn How To Master Your Emotional Expression As Well As You Manage Diarrhea (AKA, My 6-Step Plan For Managing Emotional Turmoil) appeared first on https://stardustrevolution.com.

Take These 5 Identity Assessments to Instantly Level-Up Your Self-Awareness Game

Tiffa — Wed, 01 Nov 2023 10:41:26 +0000

To know thyself means to take the time to get to know thyself.

One of the best ways we can do that is by assessing who we are and what we've been through. Essentially, what makes you tick?

Sometimes that can be done by evaluating what we've been through, other times it comes from psychologists who have compiled unique assessments for understanding our subtle, intrinsic differences.

The truth is that who you are today, as an adult, was largely determined by your upbringing, but it's amplified by ongoing experiences and how you handle yourself in those moments.

As we evolve, those moments compound into "proof points" for our subconscious to revert to when reacting (or responding) in any given situation.

But here's the catch: when we start to pay attention to our behaviors and thought patterns more closely, we're able to acutely hone them for maximum spiritual alignment.

Your subconscious doesn't dictate who you become. It simply maintains who you've been. So if you recognize "proof points" that don't align with what your soul knows is the authentic you, then it's time to repattern those behaviors to recalibrate to your "true north".

The more we know about ourselves, the more we can live in true expressive freedom without fear of triggers, boundary lapses, or self-betrayal.

In this post, I'll introduce you to the five identity assessments you need to know about yourself to instantly level-up your self-awareness game.

#1
Attachment Style

Your attachment style determines how you connect to others within interpersonal relationships. There are four types of attachments:

#1: Anxious/Preoccupied

#2: Avoidant/Dismissive

#3: Disorganized/Fearful Avoidant

#4: Secure

Here's a general idea of what you need to know about each style (based on these descriptions, you may be able to immediately pin-point your particular brand of attachment):

ANXIOUS/PREOCCUPIED - Do you crave relationships and find yourself feeling concerned when people aren't available for you? If you find yourself uncomfortable being single - or even solitary - you might just have an anxious/preoccupied attachment style...

AVOIDANT/DISMISSIVE - Are you hyper-independent, self-sufficient, and prone to sprinting in the opposite direction when someone wants to shack up with you? You're likely avoidant/dismissive...

DISORGANIZED/FEARFUL AVOIDANT - Did you read a little bit of yourself in both of the descriptions above? Do you crave relationships, but also want to run at the first sign of commitment? It's likely that you're dealing with the complicated reality of being a disorganized/fearful avoidant...

SECURE - Are you content being single and also content being in a relationship? Are you open and straightforward, able to be vulnerable and independent, single and taken? Congrats, you're likely sitting pretty in autonomous security...

Attachment styles aren't set in stone.

However, if you've read a quick blurb and are thinking "ahh, sh*t, this explains my dumpster-fire of a dating life..." you're not alone and you're not f*cked forever. Read more about why you are who you are, how you can deal with someone you've been dumpster-fired by, and/or what you can do to heal from an inevitable fall-out from an insecure partner.

Click the link below to discover your attachment style so you can start taming that strange before the clock runs out.

Discover YourATTACHMENT STYLE

#2
Love Language

You've probably noticed an obsession with love languages lately, and there's a reason for that.

How you prefer to receive and deliver love is important to understanding how you show up in your friendships, intimate relationships, family holidays where Aunt Edna gives you 5 scratchy sweaters and then guilts you into trying them on in succession...which you do because *acts of service*.

Most people have a little love for every love language on the list, but we all tend to prefer 1-2 as our primaries. Everything else on the list can be anything from abrasive to totally acceptable.

The five love languages are:

ACTS OF SERVICE - Do you love it when someone makes you a meal? And do you find that when you want to show someone you care, you end up doing things for them in a tangible way? Then you're likely an acts of service kinda kitten...

RECEIVING GIFTS - Are you big into getting and giving gifts? Like, big big? Like, Aunt Edna gives all the handmade scratchy sweaters, big, and you love it? There's a chance you're a receiving/giving gifts kinda person...

QUALITY TIME - Do you love to give people your undivided attention, and do you love when they do the same for you? Long hours of play time, social interaction, or even a movie night go the distance for ya? Then quality time might be your love language...

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION - Do you light up whenever someone has a good word to say about you? Do you, in turn, like to acknowledge people with words of praise? Then you should probably explore words of affirmation as your love language...

PHYSICAL TOUCH - Do you love a good hug or a well-placed pat on the shoulder? Is a snuggle preferred over a homemade meal? When you're proud of someone, do you want to give them all the high-fives? You might be a physical touch love language kinda person...

Now, when it comes to love languages, you'll find that you have a top three and of those top three you'll have an order to what you prefer. These don't tend to change much throughout our lives and they're likely based on treatments we did or didn't receive in our childhood.

But, as with all things psychological, you can always learn to adapt to new ways of love if you decide that's something you want/need to explore for yourself.

Discover YourLOVE LANGUAGE

#3
A.C.E. Score

- TRIGGER WARNING -

Let's switch gears into something that may or may not give you insight into how having a difficult childhood impacts our future.

The ACE test stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences and it's used to gauge adult health and social outcomes based on traumatic events experienced in childhood.

The test looks at three areas of your upbringing: abuse, neglect, and household challenges, like substance abuse or mental illness.

So here's why this biggy's a baddie: too many people are roaming through this life with an absurdly high ACE score and don't know it's an issue, or how to confront it.

In fact, more often than not, people with high ACE scores who end up succeeding or appearing highly functional in life, tend to ignore altogether the very real traumatic experiences they were put through in their childhood because "look at me, I made it ma!" (*cue any angry Eminem quote*), thus opening them up to dysfunctional attachment styles and toxic displays of their love language. *ahem...Slim. Fucking. Shady's. The lot of 'em.*

*HERE'S WHERE THAT TRIGGER WARNING KICKS IN*

Without further ado, I give you the ACE test (answer YES or NO, and then tally them mothers up):

Before your 18th birthday...

Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often…swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you?
Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often…push, grab, slap, or throw something at you? Or ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured?
Did an adult or person at least five years older than you ever…touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way? Or attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you?
Did you often or very often feel that…no one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? Or your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other?
Did you often or very often feel that…you didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you? Or your parents were too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it?
Was a biological parent ever lost to you through divorce, abandonment, or other reason?
Was your mother or stepmother: often or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? Or sometimes, often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? Or ever repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife?
Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic, or who used street drugs?
Was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did a household member attempt suicide?
Did a household member go to prison?

Full disclosure, I score a 7/10, which is why mental health is so important to the work I create.

Job expectations and regular 9-to-5 paychecks, nutrition and exercise, spiritual growth and meditation...these things mean very little to me if, at the end of the day, all I feel is emotionally depleted from my PTSD.

I do best when I apply a full range of attention to what I'm doing to ALL aspects of my life. If I get too focused on any one area and let the others take a backseat, I struggle. Hard.

To learn more about the ACE test and to take the actual test online (same questions, more interactive fun), click the button below.

Discover YourACE SCORE

Myers Briggs Personality Type

The Myers-Briggs personality test includes a total of 16 personality types and involves a slew of situational questioning to determine how your brain processes situations.

The test results can be quite enlightening.

I'm an INFP-T, which makes me a natural mediator. I'm mostly introverted, highly intuitive, all up in my feelings, flexible as all get-out when it comes to switching things up, and turbulent as hell with my emotions, making me a prime candidate for perfectionistic artistry.

So, how accurate is this test if it's calling us out like it's been our bestie since kindergarten?

This research stems from the papa-bear of analytical psychology himself, Carl Gustav Jung, the man who identified two primary personality types, Introversion and Extroversion, and then doubled-down on his work with his research into the two primary cognitive functions, Judging and Perceiving.

According to Jung, every human has an instinct towards either Introversion or Extroversion, and to either Judge or Perceive their surroundings (these keywords are where the initials in the 16 personalities comes from; INFP-T stands for: introversion, intuitive, feeling, perceiving, and turbulent).

Additional research evolved to tack on more information to this study with details like, Intuitive versus Observant, Feeling versus Thinking, and Assertive versus Turbulent.

Take the test and find out more about how you relate to the world around you. It's fascinating stuff! *Said from an INFP-T who loves to learn about her internal world and perceives her surroundings like a hawk on the prowl.*

However, keep in mind that your personality type can change over time. This is one of those studies that can be reassessed whenever you think your personality has significantly evolved.

Discover YourPERSONALITY TYPES

#5
Human Design Chart

A Human Design chart, or "bodygraph chart," is an energetic blueprint that uses your birth information to provide a map of your unique strengths, challenges, and purpose in this lifetime.

It offers a specific, comprehensive, outlandishly too-accurate-for-its-own-good viewpoint on your spiritual self - particularly outside of who you may have become after abuse or trauma, making it great for those of us who need to get back to our authenticity and out of a reactive state.

It's a fascinating chart to look at not just because it speaks to you like it's known you for eons, but because it pays specific attention to how you best respond to the world around you and, thus, how you'll reach greater success by working with your energy rather than against it.

Most impressively, it gives specific details on things like:

Energy Type

There are five types - Manifestor, Generator, Manifesting Generator, Projector, and Reflector - and your type determines how your energy make-up interacts with the world around you.

I'm a Generator, which makes up roughly 35-38% of the population, making us the most common type of the bunch.

Profile

Your profile number is a two-number combination from the six profile lines on your chart - a concept derived from I Ching's hexagram system - and represents your conscious and subconscious personality.

I'm a 3-5 Martyr/Heretic, which means I learn through trial and error and have to experiment with life in order to discover what works and what doesn't. It also means I have the ability to offer practical solutions and a visionary perspective to others. It creates a dynamic where I may experience failures but I use those lessons to become a leader who is looked to for guidance and for challenging the status quo.

For me, that's dead on. And I knew nothing about human design when I was well underway with my rage-against-the-rat-race rebellious adulthood. By the time I finally looked into it, I was floored by how accurate it was for my lived experiences and personal ways of looking at life.

Incarnation Cross

This is your life theme or overarching purpose, made up of the four gates that define your life's trajectory and "job description". It's determined by the position of your conscious and unconscious sun and earth gates in your chart.

Your cross unfolds when you live according to your strategy and inner authority, providing a "north star" for making choices.

I'm a Right Angle Cross of the Sphinx 4, which "epitomizes a unique blend of self-expression, potential, leadership, and listener traits."

It means that I possess a natural ability to express my creativity and individuality, and am often deeply introspective, constantly exploring my own identity and purpose; I initiate new ideas and projects, while remaining receptive to inspiration from the universe; I bring a strong sense of self and the ability to play various roles into life, adapting to different situations while maintaining my core identity.

Authority

This is the unique inner decision-making process for each individual, and it is one of the two cornerstones of the system alongside Strategy.

I'm a sacral authority, meaning my inner truth and decision-making guidance come from a visceral, gut-level "yes" or "no" response. It's about trusting in-the-moment, instinctive feelings—like a physical sensation or a sound—to guide me towards what has energy for me in any given situation.

Strategy

This is a practical guide for how to best engage with life's opportunities by working with your specific energetic design, rather than against it. Your strategy is determined by your Type and shows you how to respond to life and align your energy flow.

I'm a "wait to respond" strategy, meaning I should wait for an external trigger (like a question or opportunity) before taking action. It is not about being passive, but rather about waiting for the gut or sacral energy to give a clear "yes" or "no" response before committing to something. This strategy allows me to respond to what truly lights me up, rather than initiating or forcing things that aren't the right fit.

Knowing my human design chart makes it enlightening to exist in this reality with a map of deeper energetic knowledge.

For example: I kicked this website into gear (after over a year of considering whether I really wanted to do it or not) due to a conversation I had on a flight with a complete stranger who proceeded to strike up a conversation with me for damn near the whole flight - all willy nilly like we f*cking knew each other from way back when.

Long story short, he'd been wanting to start his own business but didn't know where to start and I flipping LOVE illuminating someone's path forward. We both agreed it was a sign from the universe that when he changed his seat mere minutes before boarding, he got landed in the seat next to me - of all the seats it could've been! - and that we'd both been waiting for a sign to get the ball rolling on the project we'd each been mulling over.

I know now, thanks to human design, that when an opportunity arises out of thin air I should listen to my gut - if the gut wants it, I take steps towards it. And when it came to StardustRevolution and the synchronistic conversation with a stranger on a plane, the gut had BEEN wanting it for years and that conversation was my invitation/opportunity to seize it.

Take the human design test, learn about yourself on an energetic level, and then let me know how synchronistic life feels as you start to honor your authentic energetic form.

Discover YourHUMAN DESIGN CHART

The post Take These 5 Identity Assessments to Instantly Level-Up Your Self-Awareness Game appeared first on https://stardustrevolution.com.

You Can Absolutely Make A Living Doing Something You Love So Why Do You Keep Gaslighting Your Creative Superpowers?!?

Tiffa — Sat, 21 Oct 2023 07:31:11 +0000

You wanna know a secret that isn't being shared publicly because it would put corporate honchos right outta biz-nitch?

Everything is technologically and tangibly organized in this lifetime for you to create the business of your wildest dreams.

*You know...those dreams where you're neck deep in a pool of chocolate because you've decided you're gonna become the most prominent wannabe-Wonka of the ages, root canals be damned.*

The problem isn't accessibility.

It's that most people tell themselves it's "too much work," or "it wouldn't be successful," or - my personal favorite - "I'm not good enough," so instead of pursuing the thing that lights up their soul like a dry Christmas tree lit aflame in a spontaneous 4th of July act of "recycling meets festive natural fireworks," they push their visions of passionpreneurial majesty to their bucket-list back-burner where it'll shrivel up from neglect and turn the entire bucket-list kitchen into a smelly nightmare.

If you're reading this, here's a truth you clearly need to hear:

You are blessed beyond belief to be born in this here and now era of innovative, technological, heretofore unfounded "equality" of space and time where anything and everything is the most possible it's ever been.

Want to create a yoga studio where your clients get head-butted by goats while they try oh so hard to maintain composure?

How much is it, where do I sign up, thank you for having me, and can I get a free class if a goat knocks out my front teeth?

...No?

...That's fine, just take my money and keep 'em goaties coming.

Want to create a hookah bar on a boat decked out to look like a "magic carpet ride" while floating on a lake in the middle of the Rocky Mountains?

Do it. I'll be there. And if you can toss a fondue range in there with options for cheese and oil, breads and meats, that'd be A+.

...No?

...That's f*cking fine, I still want a Rocky Mountain magic carpet ride on a boat with a hookah, cheese fondu be damned!

Where there's a will, or even an inkling of something uniquely both delicious and disastrous for your audience to consume, there's a shifty insurance agent capable of crafting your legal security in a way that surely covers all your butts and bases.

So what stops people from living out their craziest ideas in this timeline we call "modern"?

Aside from money (because investors are everywhere, babe, so don't let money hold your wild-ass back), what really slaps the greatness out of most people's dreams is their own daggon mindset.

Odds are, between your creative genius and your DING DING THAT'S A KEEPER strokes of business ingenuity, ain't no one else but YOU stopping YOU from unleashing YOU unto the world.

If you're reading this, then you're clearly interested in doing anything else with your life other than grinding out more years of service to a 9-to-5.

But that future comes down to you.

Are you ready to start slapping those negative thoughts out of your way and start cultivating, nourishing, crafting, and launching the creative endeavors - be them storefront or digital, creative or pragmatic - that've been itching your noggin all these many long nights?

Whether you believe in the afterlife or not, whether you believe in multiple lifetimes or not, you are only in this body, this iteration of yourself, this existence, IN THIS ROUND OF IT, for this one time (maybe...I don't know...my point remains: don't waste this lifetime on mediocrity).

So why not live it in the most expressive way possible WHILE ALSO making a sizable income?

Even if we're in a simulation, playing this level over and over again as the same character, why not play this round like a true boss and glow all the way up and out like you own this whole gatdamn game?!

Start playing your life like you'd play a video game: raging against the machine, going in hot as hell, button mashing your heart out until you've exhausted your options and sent your character into re-spawn knowing you gave it your all, didn't hold back, and let Prince Goro really take it in the nuts, over and over again.

In other words, get out there and allow yourself to live your best, most true-to-you life before the clock runs out and you realize you didn't do nearly as much as you could've if you'd just let yourself run wild like a miniature horse set loose on a Scottish hillside, no more aware of its' social obligations than a chicken cares what you do with the eggs that you keep stealing out from under it.

The post You Can Absolutely Make A Living Doing Something You Love So Why Do You Keep Gaslighting Your Creative Superpowers?!? appeared first on https://stardustrevolution.com.

Why I Don’t Subscribe To “Coincidences” Even Though Doing So Would Probably Rid Me Of Heartbreak, Anguish & Spiritual Frustrations The Meltdowns Of Which Rival Any Toddlers’ Tantrum

Tiffa — Sat, 21 Oct 2023 05:43:21 +0000

It started with tarot cards back in college.

How was my Wiccan roommate able to read me like a book from a stack of cards that looked like an amateur Renaissance artist contrived them?

Since 2009, I've been reading, studying, and experimenting with tarot cards and all other forms of esoteric wisdom that find their way into my viewpoint.

And, because of it that exploration, I've experienced way too many synchronicities to insult destiny by writing them off as "coincidences".

Examples, you say? Examples I have:

I took a horse training job in France back in 2023, thinking I was just going for the adventure of it, to work on myself, to live outside of Paris, riding horses through the forest all day and night, maintaining a hunting lodge all alone in the woods...more or less healing and thriving in my own space.

Two weeks in, a woman shows up to my door to welcome me to the small village. British woman, super nice, we ended up becoming friends.

Three months later, she's diagnosed with stage four, terminal cancer - the same type of cancer my mother had at the time, but terminal.

Coincidence? I think not.

I was, at this time, struggling with my mom's diagnosis and losing hope for life. That woman inspired so much love and wisdom from the depths of my soul and was the exact person I needed at that point in my life - and I for her.

My cup runneth over with the number of synchronicities I experience on a daily basis.

My friend discussing his deceased cousin, me asking him if he ever speaks aloud to said cousin, him saying no, me saying "you should try"...the lights flickering in that exact moment when they've never flickered before or since.

My coming to Colorado for a visit with a former friend and, whilst there, meeting a new friend - I choose to stay for a while and become his roommate - I quickly start to miss travel and think about leaving but feel I'm meant to stay a little longer - his kids come for a visit over the summer - a week before they're supposed to leave for their mom's, they open up to me about abuse they've endured - BAM, now those kiddos live with us...

Coincidence that I came to CO for a different person, but ended up meeting and staying with this new friend and am then the catalyst that gave him his kids back?

I think not.

Coincidence is perception of effect without cause. Synchronicity is perception of effect with causation, even if we can't perceive the cause.

By choosing to believe in synchronicity, I choose to perceive that every effect has a cause. That every twist and turn of my life - especially the rough, often easily misunderstood to be awful times - is a response to an energy with cause.

I am not just experiencing sh*t by chance, unable to perceive a greater meaning behind it.

I'm experiencing things by energetic force and there's always an option to see it for the cause it is if I only have the patience to wait it out.

In that sense, I'm able to see how it all - good, bad, gorgeous and ugly - makes sense, as it so often inevitably does.

I went to France for horses; or I was brought to France to make a lifelong friend and be there in her hour of need and horses was simply the catalyst that caught my attention to go.

I came to Colorado for one person; or I was brought to Colorado to make a friendship with someone who needed healthy support and that other friend was just the way to get me stateside.

Coincidence, by definition, is a concurrence of events without causal relation; synchronicity is the occurrence of events that seem related but have no causal relation.

Inferring "coincidence" means that you perceive events to be random with no relation (event happens, nothing caused it, it just is), whereas inferring "synchronicity" means that you perceive things to be related even when they appear to be random (event happens, something caused it, I wonder what it could've been).

In the modern world, I'd argue that most people infer through a lens of coincidence, thereby disregarding potential connections that could provide deeper meaning and motive.

But I'm clearly not of that ilk, and if you're reading this I doubt you are either.

My philosophy on life is that everything - from the table my laptop's sitting on to the cat that's massaging potatoes into my arm - is energetically connected and that events are synchronistic, not coincidental.

I am not here at random. I am here at cause, whether I can perceive the link or not.

Why is this an irreplaceable mindset for me?

In viewing reality this way, my mind leans towards emotional detachment in most circumstances because things aren't happening at random, they're happening as a result of energetics I can't possibly fathom. With that mindset, I need only sit back and wait for the synchronicity to present itself.

I choose to see circumstances as energetic ties to my interaction with a timeline that's been in motion for eons.

Hurricanes today aren't JUST a result of yearly weather patterns, for example; they're the fallback of millions of years of terra forming and celestial motion within the cosmic order of universal "chaos" (and the livability of them today - for humans anyway - is due entirely to the astroid that wiped out the dinosaurs).

But is the universe actually chaos?

To our wee-wittle bwains it may seem as such, but, in reality, chaos is just energy misunderstood.

In truth, what seems sporadic to us is actually causal reactions across time and space. We cannot predict the flow of universal energy any better than we can predict how our day will play out, but that doesn't mean it's "chaos" in the sense that we've defined the term.

Chaos is "complete disorder and confusion." But though universal majesty may confuse us, I don't subscribe to the narrative that the universe is disordered.

Simple enough physics shows us that the universe is one of the most ornately ordered specimens in existence. From the grandest to the most minute perspectives, the universe is rhyme and reason in motion.

So if physics can show us the truth of universal order, then why do so many people choose to adhere to coincidence instead of synchronicity?

I'll tell you why, or at least what I think: it's because it's easier to shrug off the "randomness" of circumstances than to consider our role in its synchronistic occurrence.

Here's a fun thinker for you: remember that time you almost died? Everyone's got at least one story of "this one time, I almost died but didn't..."

Why do you think you survived that experience?

Some people think it's god/gods/God what saved them.

Some people think it "wasn't their time to go".

And then there's the me's of the world, the weirdos willing to look you dead in the eyes and proclaim with a knowing that comes from the dark matter of the voidian beyond: "I was in the right place, at the right time, because I happened to stop and look at a flower growing through a crack in the sidewalk so the speeding car who whipped it on the corner missed me by an inch..."

The synchronicity what saved me isn't that I stopped and observed the crack-flower that day.

It's that when I was a child I was told by some stranger in a park (probably a murderous stranger who didn't end up killing me in this universe but certainly may have in parallel universe, let's say, #568) that I should always stop and enjoy the flowers, no matter how small or how random, because you never know when your time will be up.

The speeding car what missed me only did so because some random dude in a park told me as a child to enjoy all the flowers.

THAT'S the synchronicity that saved my ass.

Not the crack-flower. But the random encounter in my childhood that I fortunately remembered when the crack-flower appeared that fated day.

Long story short: life is far more interesting when you stop perceiving things as random and start perceiving them as connected.

Circumstances land different.

Pain evolves into purpose, fear transforms into curiosity, limitations become breakable.

In that way, you start to see where your actions, big or small, yours or someone else's, are crafting the reality you inhale and exhale on a daily basis.

Toddler-level tantrum meltdown's be damned, ain't nothing stopping me from seeing things as interconnected, no matter the mind-bending, out-of-this-world fascinating, spiritual and esoteric torments I reap.

The post Why I Don’t Subscribe To “Coincidences” Even Though Doing So Would Probably Rid Me Of Heartbreak, Anguish & Spiritual Frustrations The Meltdowns Of Which Rival Any Toddlers’ Tantrum appeared first on https://stardustrevolution.com.

How I Use Tarot Reading For Self-Therapy & Creative Guidance Without Turning Into A Demon-Possessed, Fart-Sniffing Spiritual Guru

Tiffa — Fri, 20 Oct 2023 12:32:28 +0000

Your mind - be it conscious or subconscious - is a swirl of instinctual reactions that can be registered as an electrical field. (Hence why when you fall into a coma, doctors may consider you "brain dead" at a certain point because your brain is literally not producing the electrical currents that it typically would if you were in a consciously active state.)

In other words:

Your perceptions of the world around you - be them true or not - are based on instinctual reactions to external stimuli, and the active state of your mind, in turn, produces an electrical field that can be identified with a tool called an EEG (electroencephalography).

This is science. We can test it, we can experiment on it, we can analyze it.

So when people talk about changing their reality, or "manifesting," what they mean is that when they commit to changing their perception of reality it will, in turn, create massive, tangible changes in the physical world.

How does that work?

How can a different mindset change our physical reality?

Well, let's use an example: let's say you break both of your legs in a horrific accident.

And let's say one version of you (version #1) experiences those broken legs as the worst case scenario. For every physical therapy session, every waking moment, every chance to interact with your conscious reality, your brain is perceiving negativity.

Now let's say that another version of you (version #2) experiences those broken legs as just another experience in life, and for every moment you're living with these now broken legs, you're interacting with your reality in a positive way.

Version #1 may treat the hospital staff with disdain because, woe is version #1, where version #2 may treat the same staff with kindness because, hey, your broken legs ain't their fault.

Where version #1 ripples out negativity and, thus, receives it back in kind, version #2 radiates kindness, thus, receiving that back in kind.

So, what does this have to do with your brain's electrical currents and, moreover, tarot cards?

When we want to change our reality, we have to be consistent with altering our natural mental instincts - instincts that started developing from birth.

Tarot cards are just one way to see what your electrical field is emanating out into reality.

Some readers will tell you that when you use tarot cards you're interacting with a higher power, and that may be true. But for the sake of this post, let's not worry about the validity, or not, of all that.

Instead, I want you to take a second to see tarot cards as I do: not as a practice in spiritual communication (although, to be fair, I've done f*cked around and found out many a time in that regard as well - but that's a discussion for a different post), but as a practice in subconscious psychological evaluation.

Think of tarot cards like a Rorschach test.

It's not about accuracy or correctness, it's about perception, intuition, and derived meaning.

Use them to explore how your mind translates each message, rather than looking for them to be entirely accurate to your circumstances.

In this way, you can alleviate the need for "proof" that the cards are doing their spiritual connectivity thing, and instead enjoy them for the exploration into your human experience for which they can be quite useful.

How I Use Tarot Cards For Self-Therapy

[NOTE: Obviously tarot reading is not a replacement for traditional therapy, especially when said therapy is greatly need.]

In the thick of my darkest depressions, sometimes therapy wasn't helpful. It wasn't hurtful, but it wasn't the spiritual connection I needed to make sense and find peace in my life.

Church wasn't either. And still isn't. And that's ok. It's not for everyone.

But I do believe a connection to our spiritual core is vital to living a peaceful, meaningful life, especially when you're grappling with feelings of worthlessness, meaninglessness, and hopelessness. I can see the negative impact it's had on my mental health when I'm detached from my spiritual center, and I can see the grace it provides when I'm aligned with it.

Nowadays, I live and breathe for my spiritual guidance system. And, at times, I utilize tarot cards to conduct self-therapy sessions so I can perceive things and accept messages that I may not otherwise have been able to receive.

The trick is detachment.

Detachment from an answer I want, and acceptance that the answer I receive is the one I need and/or the truth.

Detachment from outcomes I want, and acceptance that outcomes of any kind are part of life.

Detachment from control, and acceptance that surrender is the only way I'll be able to receive the truth of my reality.

Think of your energy like butter: when it's cold it holds its form quite well; when it's warm it melts and covers a space.

I've found that spiritual energy is similar.

When I'm in a state of attachment, my energy is "cold," or closed off. This means that my electrical field is remaining close to my physical body and isn't open to receiving anything beyond my perceptions. I can tell because as I start pulling cards either nothing makes sense or it's all painting a picture of what I perceive a situation to be.

But when I'm energetically and emotionally detached, my energy is "warm" or open to receiving - and potentially communicating - with any message that comes through. I can tell I'm energetically available because the messages either feel exceptionally insightful, or aren't anything I'd previously perceived.

Here's my advice for anyone interested in using tarot cards for self-therapy:

RELEASE ALL EXPECTATIONS FOR AN OUTCOME

Go into your self-therapy tarot readings with an open-mind to all outcomes. Release your emotional connection to whatever it is you want to conduct therapy for so that you're open to receiving answer beyond your perception. Allow yourself to witness a birds eye view of your experience, emotionally detached from whatever answers you may receive. Witness, don't beg.

CREATE AN ATMOSPHERE

When I commit to doing a reading for self-therapy, I make sure that I've set the mood. I honor my feelings, or the topic at hand, by taking it seriously. This means cleaning off a table from clutter and dust, lighting a candle, and taking time to meditate, pray, or otherwise set an intention for my experience. Especially when it comes to self-therapy readings, I'm very conscientious to go into it with love and respect for myself.

SET AN INTENTION FOR COMMUNICATION

Choose what you want to communicate with. There's an unspoken but quite real debate in the tarot reading and mediumship communities at large: what or whom exactly are they communicating with? For that, I've done my own experimentation to come to the realization that I will never truly know. But I have learned this: when I've set intentions to communicate to specific energies (my higher self, God, archangels, passed on loved ones), my readings are filled with truth, peace, and beautiful insights; when I haven't set those intentions, chaos and fear rule the reading. This could be due to demonic energy, sure, OR it could be my own energy dictating a negative narrative. Always be intentional with who or what you're communicating with. And always choose something derived from love.

STAY OPEN MINDED

When you're emotionally stable and ready to begin, accept that any card you receive is exactly what you're meant to receive in that moment. Even if it doesn't make sense. When we accept communication with energy at large, we need to trust that everything we get is meant for us, even if we don't understand it. Be patient, take your time letting your intuition tune into the message. It'll come.

BE CURIOUS WITH YOUR INTUITION

Reading tarot is about connecting to what comes to you intuitively. You can get the Tower card and intuit that it means the worst is behind you; you could also get it and intuit that the worst is yet to come. It isn't about perception of what you want the card to be, but about what your intuition tells you it means in that moment. Remain curious to all insights you feel your intuition provides you. Again, take what resonates, leave the rest.

HONOR YOUR FEELINGS WHEN YOU NEED TO STOP

Sometimes, I start tarot therapy and realize I'm not in the f*cking mood for a message from the universe. So I honor that. I put the cards away and I cry it out, go rampage in nature, eat a brownie...whatever. Don't force spiritual practices if you aren't in the mood to receive it. Not because you'll insult the powers that be, but because you won't be conducive to receive sh*t to begin with.

When I do self-therapy with tarot cards, it goes one of two ways: 1) I go into it completely emotionally stable and receptive and I receive answers that bring me peace and insight, or 2) I attempt to do it while I'm emotionally needy and the answers don't come to me at all.

This is why I stress doing tarot readings when you're in a calm, detached, receptive energetic space. Anything outside of that will tamper with your reading and potentially leave you feeling more dysfunctional than when you started.

[NOTE: It should go without saying, but if you need serious medical attention or a licensed therapist to work through your issues, do not use tarot cards as a form of therapy replacement.]

Outside of self-therapy, I also use my cards to assess my passion projects and business pursuits...

How I Use Tarot Cards For Creative & Business Guidance

Using tarot cards for creative (or passionpreneurial) guidance is a helluva lot more fun than using them for self-therapy! Mostly because self-therapy can be quite heavy where creative guidance is easily more interpretive and light-hearted.

Imagine having a brainstorming session with the universe at large. It's f*cking wild!

That said, I don't take any readings seriously unless it feels deada** aligned with my intuition.

For example: if I'm reading that the cards are saying give up on a passion project, but I know I'm supposed to be doing it, then it could be that my attachment to an answer, and my emotions around feeling overwhelmed or not good enough, could be guiding the answer - as opposed to when my energy is detached and I feel that universal honesty stealing the show.

Tarot reading is all about calming your energy, allowing it to expand beyond your own reality, and this is done best by detaching from perceived outcomes. Until you've mastered that, take everything as the learning moment it is.

It's very much like learning a new language: just because you have a grasp on the language, doesn't mean you can speak it fluently, doesn't mean you could translate it, doesn't mean you won't have a horrendous accent when you use it.

Tarot is about learning your own style and being able to recognize when your energy is in and out of contraction. Contracted energy means you're only reading from your perception. Expansive energy means you're intuition is open and connecting with energies outside of your own, be them of another person, of God, of universal dark matter, etc.

Here's how I typically pull cards for my passion or business projects:

SWOT ANALYSIS

SWOT stands for: strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. I typically use this method for my passionpreneur work when I need to see an overarching look at what is and isn't working in my, or my clients, business.

NEW DIRECTIONS, UNSEEN OPTIONS

When any creative project, be it business or otherwise, isn't working out, I whip out my cards to do a quick "unseen" spread. What am I not seeing as an option? Where could I be going instead? What paths am I not exploring that might open up my creative flow with more force?

TO COLLABORATE OR NOT?

Sometimes I ignore my instincts and humor the idea of working with someone who I know, in my gut, I shouldn't work with. Other times, I avoid a collaboration that I know I should pursue. In either case, I'll throw down some cards to see a higher perspective on if I should collaborate, why or why not, and a likely outcome in the immediate future if I do or don't.

PURPOSE, PASSION, POWER

I'm often curious what the purpose is behind a creative project or business that I'm pursuing. The same goes for the power it holds in my life and the lives of those I care about or will meet in the future. Is it something I'm doing from passion, or something I'm attached to out of necessity. Tarot readings on the work I create help me to understand the energetic reality behind what I'm doing, why I think I'm doing it, and the purpose it serves in the making of it.

When using tarot cards for business, I treat everything like a brainstorm.

It's the universes way to pitching ideas, redirecting my brain, or otherwise chiming in on how I could be doing things better or pursuing things differently.

Again - I can't stress this enough - your intuition is the keystone in translating what you should and shouldn't do with your work based off of the readings you get.

And it's entirely up to you to honestly say whether you've been emotionally receptive or contracted in receiving feedback. Remember: contracted energy means you're reading from your energetic input, where expanded energy means you could be picking up on anything (from a shared thought with a celebrity to the angelic insights of the divine....who knows!), which is why it's crucial that you learn to feel that detachment from an outcome.

Once you've decided you want to start using tarot cards for personal readings, it's time to decide which decks to get to serve your intuition.

A lot of people have the superstition that your first deck should be bought for you, or given to you, by someone else.

This is a cute notion, but also entirely unfounded.

If you feel pulled to work with tarot cards, then its time to go shopping...

How to Choose Tarot Decks for Your Therapy Playtime

Nowadays, everyone and their dog has a tarot deck for sale.

So how do you choose the right ones for your self-therapy or creative guidance needs?

From self-care to self-love, angel cards to devil decks, past life and archetypes to karma and spirit animals, there's a deck for every grain of weirdo in the jambalaya that is new-age spirituality.

And they all provide a fun layer of psychological adventure for you to explore: a) how you're currently perceiving your reality, b) how you approach messages that are laid out before you in a very synchronistic, albeit seemingly random, array, and c) how your mind naturally infers meaning behind so many different ideas, images, colors, numbers, etc.

My advice is to purchase a Rider-Waite deck (the granddaddy of tarot cards) and learn it front to back. When you can understand a Rider-Waite, you can sort out the meanings of most decks from there on out.

Then choose some playful decks. Decks that have imagery you feel drawn to, decks that have fun phrases, and decks that you can combine with other decks to create compound messages.

Tarot reading, on a spiritual level, is a way to give energy a means of communicating to you in a way you'll understand directly (be that energy angelic, or the higher self of another person, no one can say for certain...but *hint, hint* intention is an important aspect of choosing which energy you connect to). On a human level, it's a way for you to see what your intuition and subconscious perceive in any situation.

At the end of the day, Tarot can be a creative form of self-analysis if you learn how to expand your energy and be open to intuitive guidance.

The post How I Use Tarot Reading For Self-Therapy & Creative Guidance Without Turning Into A Demon-Possessed, Fart-Sniffing Spiritual Guru appeared first on https://stardustrevolution.com.

Ditch The Woke-ster Gurus & The 20-Something Year-Old Life Coaches. It’s Time To Awaken Your Inner Mastermind For Curing Your Mind, Body, Soul & Cake cue visceral panic at your spiritual disco

Tiffa — Fri, 20 Oct 2023 11:16:33 +0000

That's right, kitten.

You're free!

Free from fake spiritualism that masquerades as potent alchemical sorcery (the kind of stuff you can only master through enough ayahuasca trips to sedate a bull elephant and enough fart inhalation to drown a skunk).

Free from self-proclaimed "life coaches" who have about as much life experience as a self-righteous priest who entered the 'hood at the ripe young age of 12 when he became an alter boy in lieu of talking to that sweet Betty he was too afraid to approach in Sunday school.

Free from the fear, the shame, the shams, scams, and "you're doing it all wrong, ma'am"-s that the self-help community keeps parading about as honesty when REALLY, it's toxic snake-oil-salesmanship.

It's time that you hear the truth from someone who's lived it:

YOU.

DON'T.

NEED.

SOMEONE.

ELSE.

OTHER.

THAN.

YOU.

TO.

HEAL/ENHANCE/EXPAND/AWAKEN/ENLIGHTEN/GUIDE.

YOUR.

ASS.

FORWARD.

And I know what you're gonna say...

"But Tiffa, how am I supposed to do X, Y, or Z, when I don't know sh*t about any one of 'em?!"

Oh, whoa, whoa, sweet godchild of mine...

That's what Google and illuminators like me are for.

I didn't say "stop seeking education," or "stop seeking help."

I said "ditch the woke-ster gurus and the 20-something year-old life coaches."

Or any guru or life coach for that matter.

What do they know about living YOUR life?!

And of course you don't know everything, nor do I say all of this with the expectation that you would suddenly figure it all out.

But what most people don't realize (and what I painstakingly learned the hard way so you don't have to, you're welcome be-tee-dubs), is that when you look outside of yourself for guidance - not education, clarity, perspective, or proof, but GUIDANCE - you disempower your intuition and raise your expectations on the experiences of someone else's outcomes.

The problem with hiring coaches, mentors, and guides, or trusting beyond a doubt in a guru or spiritual leader, is that it causes the self to shut down in favor of what it perceives to be a smarter human.

And, honey bunches of YOU, if it hasn't dawned on you yet then please let this moment hit as hard as it needs to: we are constantly learning about how our favorite gurus, leaders, coaches, and guides are sick f*cks who manipulate, distort, and otherwise abuse their audience for the sake of power and money.

That isn't to say you can't LEARN from them.

But when you fall into the trap of relying on their guidance and wisdom instead of simply receiving it, judging it for the valid or invalid opinion that it is (because, after all, that's all anyone's ever offering you, their opinion - including me), and discerning for yourself whether or not it's worth assimilating into your life choices, then you become dependent, close-minded, and exclusive, a choice that dangerously reduces your willingness to: a) hear other opinions, b) trust your own judgment, and c) recognize when those individuals are using you for the boosting of their own ego, rather than legitimately helping your cause.

I know it can be hard, but you need to start trusting:

Y.our.

O.wn.

U.niverse.

You need to start trusting YOU before you rest your faith in anyone else.

My goal here - be it through my writing or through my products - is to empower your inner knowing.

Not by telling you what to do, but by asking you to question what YOU think you should do.

Sure, I've got ideas and resources that've helped me over the years, and sure, I'd love for those things to help you along your path to blissful and radical upheaval of unfulfilling workforce tomfoolery.

BUT, I in no way want you to look to me for answers for how you should live, or where, or why.

I want you to feel empowered to think for yourself, to develop your own gospel of Y.O.U., to explore what you want and how you want to achieve it without some digital douche-nozzle clamoring on about how they've created SUCH a stellar life by doing X, Y, Z and how "don't you wanna wiggle your butt in people's faces too with all the smugness of someone who's figured it all out?! Then buy my 12-step plan and watch your butt start a bouncing!"

There's a reason why no program - NOT ONE - on this careening third rock from the sun has been able to help ALL people: everyone is different and there will never be a one-size-fits-all solution to life.

Whatever angle you approach it, whichever pillar you start with, all I hope is that you'll drop the self-proclaimed "leaders" and go within, trusting that the internal guidance you discover in there *ahem, that's YOU, in all your atomic glory, spewing hot fire* is just right for you.

And if you need to research some tips along the way to experiment with what works and what doesn't, go for it!

Just don't do that thing where you clamp on like a stage-5 clinger to someone else's reality in a desperate hope that it'll somehow fit you as well as it fits them.

Trust me, boo boo: ideological pants that are custom-made for your needs will always fit way better than any pair of expensive idea-trousers that you can suss out from anywhere else in the world.

The post Ditch The Woke-ster Gurus & The 20-Something Year-Old Life Coaches. It’s Time To Awaken Your Inner Mastermind For Curing Your Mind, Body, Soul & Cake *cue visceral panic at your spiritual disco* appeared first on https://stardustrevolution.com.

The Give-No-Fck’s Art of Digital Making Money By Creating Interesting Sht That No One Needs, Everyone Wants & All Your Friends Think Will “Never Sell”

Tiffa — Thu, 19 Oct 2023 12:50:07 +0000

Do you remember the Snuggie?

The creators were like:

"here's a robe with no belt, but we're gonna turn it around and lay it on you like a blanket and BAM, it's a must-have gift this holiday season. Uncle Bob's gonna love it, we guarantee it."

*two big thumbs up, smile for the camera, annnnnnnd scene*

Thing is though, we're in an age where anything is possible and that includes selling seemingly ridiculous products like a defect robe to people who crave sh*t they don't need and who have the disposable income to buy it.

So how do you come up with a product that's sellable?

My advice? Come up with a product that YOU would purchase and make the best version of it that you can - be it a Snuggie or an e-course about chakra cleansing, toe socks or a coffee table book about majestic hillsides of Scotland.

Once you have a product that you know and love like the back of your Snuggie, it's time to market it to the masses.

From Etsy to Amazon, QVC to local storefronts, we're in a prime timeline for selling anything under the sun, including some actual suns (I see you Buy-A-Star - and, one of these days, I may just get cocky and figure myself a star lord).

Creating a digital product, or a physical product like the Snuggie, isn't the hard part these days. All you need to do is not give a f*ck what anyone else thinks about your product.

Because confidence and external validation are the things holding people back. Not ideas, not potential, not marketing or manufacturers or investors, but confidence.

If you knew everyone would love what you have to offer the world, what would you offer?

Silent disco doggie walks?

An e-course on how to speak to the dead?

A comic book series on the inner thoughts of pets?!

Take the Snuggie as a prime example: what may have never come to pass if the creators thought, for even half a second, what someone like me might say about their sore excuse for a product?

I'll tell ya this much, had they given even half a sh*t about comments from the likes of me's, the Snuggie would've been annexed to the basement, where it surely slunk into creation in the first place.

It's not about whether or not you're adding value to the world at this point. It's about whether or not you can stand by your creation - regardless of if you see value in its existence - and how far you're willing to take it to see it succeed.

Have you ever seen that movie Joy with Jennifer Lawrence?

It's a great watch for anyone struggling to take their entrepreneurial dreams seriously. She could've given up so many times, but she LOVED that mop. At times, more than she loved her own family. She believed in that mop...also perhaps more than her own family *hands up, no shame*.

When it comes to launching a business or a product, the important bit is no longer whether there's a market for it because, in this day and age, there's always a market for it.

In fact, I triple dog dare you *oooooh mama mama maaaaaaaah* to come up with a business or product idea that wouldn't pull in a single customer. A terrifying quandary, for sure, because even the grossest, most morally dysfunctional, most despicable, low life, low down, straight up dirty shame of a business or product idea would probably STILL have a healthy stream of customers if given the right attention and direction.

Am I wrong?!

You know I'm not.

But, just to prove a point: do you remember "Two Girls, One Cup"?!

Like....my DUDE!

How TF did that go viral before viral was even a term worth accomplishing?! And yet...there it went...gallavanting off into the night...searing eyeballs with the quite obviously cut and edited videography of two girls, one cup, and then some...

But I digress.

If you've been thinking about starting a business or creating a product, stop questioning if it's worth your time and start formulating the concept into a tangible thing that you'd love to invest your own money into as a customer.

Because THAT'S how a solid deliverable gets started.

From there, you can throw it into the great wide world and start making adjustments to fit the needs of your clientele.

The give-no-f*ck's art of business development is that you literally don't consider the potential success of the product. Instead, you start with your own desire for it to exist in your life and build off of that.

Don't over think it, soul-bud.

Set all the f*ck's aside and start crafting.

If you're ready to take your business idea seriously and really launch that ish into the stratosphere, join the Rat Race Rebel Academy to access a comprehensive, guided blueprint - from conceptualization to legalization - of how to start your own online business.

JOIN THERAT RACE REBEL ACADEMY

The post The Give-No-F*ck’s Art of Digital Making Money By Creating Interesting Sh*t That No One Needs, Everyone Wants & All Your Friends Think Will “Never Sell” appeared first on https://stardustrevolution.com.

If We’re All Players In A Video Game…If We’re Connected To All Parallel Universes…If God Is A Child Sitting In The Lotus Position On A Yoga Mat In A Renovated Warehouse In Seattle Surrounded By Farting Bros With Man-Buns…Then Why Are You Working A 9-to-5 Job???

Tiffa — Tue, 17 Oct 2023 15:30:27 +0000

Humans love to arrogantly compete in esoteric pissing contests (amongst other things), but the truth of the matter is that we're so far removed from any major spiritual happenings in our modern times that we're basing most of our theological beliefs off of content that was created thousands of years ago.

That's not to say that we shouldn't respect or take comfort from those ideologies.

And it doesn't mean that I think we should be rocking bible burnings in our free time.

It means that we're regurgitating spiritual concepts without any modern scope of validation.

In that vein, modern humans run the gambit of philosophical f*ckery when attempting to conceptualize what COULD BE (and equally could not be) explanations for how/why/what is our present existence.

Are we, in fact, simulations a la carte, no different than the Sim characters we so loved to emotionally bend and snap?

Are we, instead, atomic particles floating around in the body of a celestial being? No more capable of having our prayers heard by said being than we would hear the screams of one of our own blood cells as it pleads to become the next Beyonce...?

Is it possible that parallel universes are real and that each of the iterations of our existences are interconnected, thus, when we survive in one lifetime from a near-death experience we're viscerally able to witness, through "flashes," the death we certainly experienced in a nearby reality?!

We.

Don't.

Know.

It's this remarkable unknown of a mind-fuck, this impossible canyon of voidish hellscape, this unavoidable premise of WTF, where I find the most validating comfort within my existence.

Where everyone else seems to find solace in the personification of any iteration of god/gods/God, I find nothing but concerning questions.

Questions like:

Which one of you's is preaching the "truth"?

Why would such a holy being choose only a select people to love?

Why does X love you and not them, or us? Why them and not you, or me? Why us and not them, or you?

And if such a thing is true, if such an X is yes, then why does that seem to mean that none of these other equally magnificent belief structures get to exist alongside in support of a greater construction of said X?

It's not that I don't want to believe, or that I can't believe, or that I shirk belief, or that I refuse to explore any sense of spirituality; it's that the raw and ONLY real truth is: WE DON'T KNOW.

There's power in the unknown.

There's potential in the unknown.

There's hope in the unknown.

But you wanna know what else is mulling about in there? What's more important than power, potential, and hope?

Humility.

Humility makes us flexible, smarter, safer, harder, better, faster, stronger.

*cue dubstep mashup. shut your face, you know you love it.*

When we're truly humbled by the unknown of our existence, that's when we're free to explore our reality with a curiosity that no spiritual ideology has obtained because no spiritual ideology allows for a nothing answer.

Yes, peace and love and cupcakes is all fine and good.

But also, anarchy and chaos and spicy orange juice for the win!

I'm not saying religious spirituality doesn't serve a purpose, hasn't helped so many people, and shouldn't exist anymore.

There's a need for everything we're experiencing right now, from piety to pompous puffery and everything in between.

BUT, when you can set aside your beliefs and start f*cking around with existentialism, that's when you start to realize the flexibility that spiritual humility can provide.

You don't have to ditch your god/gods/God to flex them spiritually humble muscles.

But you do have to ditch your rigidity to conformist ideas of what your god/gods/God wants of you.

Because hey, for all you know, those boys and girls spitting hot spiritual fire back in the who knows when may have had an agenda (or had their agenda agenda'ed by someone higher up with an infectious and nefarious agenda) that both listened to their god/gods/God while also massaging the truth to serve their very human desires.

It ain't easy being a fleck of stardust caught up in the whims of a human lifespan.

So before you go wasting this life of yours on all the soggy french fries, that unfulfilling 9-to-5 job, or yet another boring Tinder date with some douche named Guy who swears by pleather pants and his fake-ass mala beads from an Amazon purchase that also included chocolate-flavored condoms (*scoff, snort* as if, Guy) and spark plugs for an '89 Chevy that he's been "fixing up" for a flipping decade, give this a thought:

If god/gods/God is the exact iteration of your dreams, would such a being really want you to gorge yourself on sh*t food, sh*t work, and sh*t fu*ks for the sake of winning a seat in a great, positive beyond?

If so...maybe it's time to call in on strike.

Also if so, maybe it's time to reconsider what you're doing with your life.

Does your work give you a sense of purpose? Do you feel fulfilled? Does you life give you a sense of meaning and connection to community, much less your spirituality?

If not, it's time to level-up.

When you're ready to grab life by the horns & snuggle, the Rat Race Rebel Academy is waiting for you.

JOIN THERAT RACE REBEL ACADEMY

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